Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Zach has no idea how he got to Rehab. He is supposed to try to remember but remembering hurts. The last thing he remembers being in a hospital. He doesn't know why he's there and how he got there. He doesn't ask. His family home wasn't the greatest. Well that's a bit of an understatement. His mother was depressed and wouldn't leave the house. She would completely zone out for long periods of time. His father was a drunk. His brother was an abuser of drugs. He also liked to hit Zach. He would feel sorry afterwards and give him things. His father still went to work. It was okay according to Zach. But with all that it wasn't a surprise that he got into drugs but his specific poison was Bourbon. He used to walk around just chugging it down his throat. It was his father's. He would search for it when he needed it. It was like Easter all the time.

Now he's in Rehab with Raphael as his roommate and then later Sharkey comes along. Raphael is just like him. Everyone here has a monster in them but he feels like Raphael is exactly like him which makes him like him so much. He reads, he paints, and is a quiet person. Sharkey on the other hand is loud, loves clothes, and always tells you what's on his mind. Zach hardly talks especially in group sessions. Adam his therapist really pisses him off sometimes with the way he talks and the way he pushes him to talk. Well he doesn't really push him hard. He just gets anxiety very easily. He's riled up easily. The summary of the book talks about him feeling that God writes happy or angry or crazy on people's hearts. God wrote sad on his. He doesn't like God and apparently God doesn't like him much either.

 I spent all day reading this book. It was really absorbing. I cried a bunch of times during this book. When Zach didn't want to look in the mirror because it was painful... Sheesh that just got to me. Him being a quiet reserved person helped me like him. I knew for awhile why he got there but it was still a mystery of how he played into it. He was just very interesting to read about and my heart went out to him whenever he was feeling anxious. He doesn't even remember when someone last said that they loved him. I just wish there was a person or a place he can go to to get away from it all. I've read only one other book about someone being in rehab but this one felt more real to me. It had more feeling to it. It was a bit weird with Raphael and the love thing. He felt like he was a little kid. He never seemed to have time to be a kid I guess... It was a really good book and I recommend reading it to those who want to read about the subject.


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