By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead by Julie Anne Peters

Daelyn Rice is going to die in 23 days. That's the plan according to the website www.through-the-light.com. She would do it sooner she really wants to do it sooner but she can also wait. During the time between she goes on forums and sees other people's problems laid out. Some days she gets asked a question like How are you going to go? (paraphrasing) There's also this boy who seems intent to bother her but she won't smile at him or get connected because that's how she failed the other times... she felt some hope but not this time. But is there... hope for her after all?

Daelyn was the "fat girl" everyone always teased her and she was even sent to the hell on earth that was fat camp. She had a neck brace and I'm sure you already know it's from an attempt or she likes to say failure. Her parents are always checking up on her and her mother is always trying. I understand that but the father has this thing where he can check the computer to see what sites she's on. The suicide website can't be shown and he keeps on checking it and I'm like Dude! Get rid of the computer! Actually that wouldn't help....

So Santana I loved from the beginning because he was acting like a dufus just to be nice to her. But then in the end he did act like a boy. I mean that IM comment. WOW. So I'm still kind of on the fence with him. A lot was revealed about him when she went over his house. YES that happened. That's where the change in him really showed not really when he really talked about himself... I do understand that he was dealing with things too. He was desperate too. And we all are selfish so I don't judge him to harshly.

So I have to talk about it... suicide. I really can't believe I just talked about religion and then I get into a book about suicide. I'm so weird... So I really think the people who say that killing yourself is a coward's act really don't understand how unhappy you can be. They are probably the bully type of people who grow up. I really wish that people would stop looking down on people that do end their lives and just HELP. You know when someone's down. At least I know because I'm pretty aware of people. You cannot tell me that no one ever had an inkling. Everyone does hurt. And anyone can help. Even just some interest can make someone feel so good.

Bullying is also the main theme here. Even saying something silly can hurt someone who's already down. Don't talk about someone especially if they are right there. It hurts. Your laughing can bring someone pain. Think if you were unhappy and someone was talking about you and laughing at you. Just sympathize for once. This book brings up the issues that are ridiculous because they shouldn't exist. It is a type of book that people need to read once in awhile to remind them that you aren't the only person that matters.

One last thing... I felt this book was so close to being great. When it started to go to the end... I don't know maybe it was Santana or Daelyn but it didn't wow me as much as I would have hoped. It still brought something to me and it's still a book I'm glad I read.